Growing up

I think there's a lot more to this growing up business than I thought there was. I thought it was mostly about doing new things with my mom and just learning how to be a riding horse but now I'm starting to think it might mean getting used to some scary or bad things too. I don't know if I want to grow up if I'm right.

My mom didn't come out again today. Emily came out and took care of me and took me riding. I like her lots, and it's fun when she rides me because I can go a little faster than I can with my mom right now but it's not the same and I always feel a little anxious and worried when she's not there. I wonder if she's okay or if she doesn't like me anymore or if she forgot about me. Then I think about it and I know she'll always like me no matter what, and that she'd never forget about me so that makes me wonder if she's all right.

Emily said she was resting her hurt foot. I hope I didn't hurt it when we rode yesterday. She felt so close to normal that I kind of forgot to be extra careful so when she asked me to trot in the Flat Arena, I bounced right into a nice big trot. As soon as I did though, I felt her lurch in the saddle and the reins caught my mouth as she jerked them. She pulled me right back to a walk and petted me and told me she was sorry. I wasn't mad at her because I could tell that the bouncing had made her foot hurt. I hope it didn't do anything bad to it though. I'd feel awful if it did.

I didn't think so because she took me for a couple of poop loops after that and she asked me to trot up one of the hills. She kind of stood up in the saddle and seemed fine when I did it so I figured it was just that she wasn't ready for it the first time. But now she's not here and I don't know anything for sure so I worry.

Some horses get sold sometimes. Did you know that? I got sold when I came to live with my mom. I didn't mind that though because I love her and she's the nicest person I ever knew. I didn't really have a special person before her. At the track, there were always lots of people handling me and grooming me and riding me. Some of them were there all the time but they took care of other horses too so they weren't my special people that I had all to myself. And the girl I lived with when mom came to see me was nice but she had other horses that were hers and I could tell that I wasn't there to stay forever.

It would be awful if my mom decided to sell me because she couldn't ride me anymore or because her foot was so hurt from me being bad and bouncing too much. I'd have to get used to a new person and a new home and I'd miss my mom and Sparky and his mom and Emily and Kia and all my friends. I'd be scared but I'd have to do it because that's what horses have to do when they're grown up and get sold.

I don't think she'd sell me though. Even if she couldn't ride me. Maybe she'd just keep me anyway and come visit me and let Emily or Sparkys mom ride me. I wouldn't mind that. I'd miss riding with her but as long as I saw her, that would be okay.

Sorry I'm being all gloomy today Sometimes I worry about things. I didn't think growing up would be so scary. I don't like it at all. I hope my mom comes to see me tomorrow.